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My notes for a panel on the topic “Is Romance Dead”

          I found a hand written draft of this in a filing cabinet. Any electronic version has long since vanished (it would be on a 2 inch disk!) I was in the habit then of presenting essays and talks with these subheadings – thanks to the titanic influence of Anne Carson on my work at that time. This is a portrait of the author before The Vintner’s Luck. I hadn’t even begun Glamour and the Sea (though my thinking about that novel is all over this). I was 34 when I wrote this. My son was 1. These notes were, I believe, my contribution to a panel at a PEN conference (the NZ Society of Authors as was).    October 1993 Having decided that all I can talk about in any focused way for this panel are my feelings about romance in my own writing, I thought I should do that by sorting out a few subheadings. I’m all about the illusion of organisation, these days. (And I’m digressing already – the illusion of organisation it’s pretty unromantic, it isn’t Wordsworth’s “spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings”.)   Pacification My first year tutor in English Lit at Vic marked

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Tata Beach, New Years Eve, 1974.

  Three weeks without rain. The motels have had a water tanker in, but all the locals are toughing it out. The air at sea level is hazy with evaporation and the black grid-work of the oil rig they’re building in the shelter of the Bay has disappeared completely. I’m on the beach with David MacDonald, my same age cousin, who didn’t do well in School C and is going into the army next year. We can only spend time together now if we have an occupation of some sort. A project. We’re building a trap. David’s done all the digging. We’ve covered the pit with criss-crossed sticks, then newspaper, and a layer of sand. My job has been to imagine what’ll it’ll be like when our older sisters Mary and Steph come back from their walk and fall into it. Mum appears and says, ‘Don’t wander off, Elizabeth. Auntie Thel will need another pair of hands.’ Then she wades into the waist high grass of the empty lot and lies down. We wait for a bit, and then go over. Mum looks comfortable, if incongruous. She says, ‘I won’t take sides.’ Then, ‘Let’s see if anyone misses me.’ David and I understand that we’re party to an experiment and mustn’t spoil it for her. We go back and check the beach. No Steph and Mary. David is sick of waiting

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Thoughts upon watching people shout people down

I began writing this in October in response to one ‘storm on twitter’ and finished it today, prompted by another. I’ve been wondering whether, in most people, the instinct for agreement is stronger than the one for self-expression. When people agree they belong. And belonging doesn’t necessarily mean feeling yourself part of a larger society. Quite often it can mean defining yourself in opposition to something that you perceive to be the large society – ‘mainstream’ this or that. How do we agree? Not by discussion so much as quickly letting other people know what we think, or by a kind of rushed calibration where we can discover what it is we should think, what our position should be. Agreements are established through the tone taken and the language used. Particular words and phrases. Saying things in a correct and unexceptional way. Each agreement has its own personality, its way of talking – its creep or swagger. That urge to agree, to find out what the group thinks, to pacify and calm the most emotional individuals, to stand in the tree tops and shake our fists and make enough noise so that the lions, those lazy, maybe hungry lions out

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Don’t say ‘sacrifice’

For Armistice Day here is my foreword to the Second Edition of my 1987 novel, After Z-Hour. More photos will follow. They are are being scanned by my scanning-elf.   After Z-Hour is a ghost story in which one character declares, ‘We we all ghosts’, and in which time and space, period and place, are interpenetrating. It’s a book about memory and trauma set in a haunted house during a storm. And a book where everyone longs for home, and no one gets to go there. I have a letter from my grandmother to my great uncle Jack (John James Knox) dated 8 July 1918. She is writing to give him the news of the birth of his second child, a daughter, Kathleen. She reports how his wife Rose—grandma’s sister— is getting along, and the baby, and Jack’s son, also Jack. ‘He would have you in fits of laughter, if you say where’s daddy gone, he says to the war to fight the Germans, he speaks so plainly for his age, God bless him. He says God bless daddy!’ Grandma’s letter came back with Jack’s belongings, so his family knew he had got it and its happy news. Jack’s belongings

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Mikhail Bulgakov’s The Master and Margarita

  I first read The Master and Margarita when I came across it in the Tawa College library. It must have gone deep into me because I didn’t realise until I reread it many years later how much it had influenced me. It comes at its main story by two debonair flanking movements. The devil and his retinue appear in Moscow in the slightest of disguises, and go largely unrecognised because vain members of Masslit – the writers union – and venal theatre managers, and rapacious, luxury-starved Muscovites, are all too busy being themselves, thus collaborating with the devil’s obscure mission – which might simply be to host his annual slap-up party. It is a book in which a novelist is driven mad by despair, and burns the manuscript of his book about which editors and critics have only wanted to know why he, ‘a Muscovite in this day and age’, wrote a novel ‘on such a curious subject’. The Master’s novel concerns Pontius Pilate. The reader encounters the novel’s story of Pilate in chapter two, around 150 pages before the man writing the Pilate novel – the Master – makes his appearance. We don’t know why we’re being told

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Brothers and Sisters: A Grimm tale

I wrote this for a Grimm’s fairytale Bicentenary event. It was published in Sport Magazine in 2012, and I think it deserves another outing.   Stargazer is running the meeting. He unlocks the room and puts a fresh bag in the coffee machine. Hansel arrives with muffins. Stargazer is a pretty smug fellow. Things worked out for him and his brothers. He likes to say, ‘We had a dust-up but not a bust-up.’ He also likes to say that no princess can replace your brothers (but never ‘Bros before hos’ because even he can’t be sure princesses won’t be present). When  people start arriving there are some familiar faces. The two ugly, limping women. And Hansel of course, his fat fingers still fidgeting over the muffins. Hansel blames his bad relationship with food on ‘what happened’. He still dreams about being force-fed, and complains about how long he was in the cage before his sister acted to save him. There are a couple of eldest brothers, going thin on top, anxiously checking their phones, and only reluctantly turning them off. There’s a Chinese guy with old horn-player’s cheeks. He’s new. Before they sit down, Stargazer has them move the chairs

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